VNN
VNN —
A day after Ozzy Osbourne, the legendary rockstar, passed away, Hulk Hogan, known by many as a legendary wrestler, has also passed away, igniting celebrations around the world.
Comments across social media Thursday morning reflect a gleeful tone from numerous individuals who recounted the fact that Hulk Hogan was a "total waste of oxygen." Two people interviewed by VNN agreed, saying, "Hulk Hogan was not only a total piece of shit, but I'm glad he's dead because honestly he should have never been born. If you disagree, you too should have never been born. Ozzy was a way better guy than Hogan, so you really should just kill yourself right now if you think Hogan deserves anyone's respect. May Ozzy rest in Heaven and Hogan rot in Hell."
A similar sentiment was shared across the internet, with people mocking Mr. Hogan's passing. According to critics, The Hulkster was a racist because he used the word "nigger" in various contexts and because he campaigned with Donald Trump. Indeed, the Association of Correct Behavior agrees that Mr. Hulk Hogan was a racist and should have never been born.
"He should've never been born," CEO of the ACB Todd Harsh admitted to VNN. "Look, I may be a successful comedian and a CEO of the first morality company ever, but that doesn't mean I'm not God, either. The fact is, I am God; and therefore I have the ability to judge one's behavior fully and wholy. Mr. Hogan said the word 'nigger' on multiple occasions, so that right there is proof that his mother should be exhumed and charged with not having an abortion."
Calls for Mr. Hogan's mother's incarceration have been growing, with some people saying she should be put in a maximum prison for the rest of eternity. "Hulk's mom is already dead; but that doesn't mean we can't spend some tax dollars on imprisoning her body." VNN has reached out to several prisons to find out if they think hosting a dead person's body makes any sense, but nobody agreed.
In confidence, a guard at a local prison shared the following truth with VNN: "Fact is, there is no way the courts will entertain exhuming a body for the purpose of charging the corpse with failing to choose abortion 71 years ago. The motion would be dead on arrival. Why? Simple. Prisoners don't like having sex with dead bodies."
Indeed, numerous studies have been done showing that prisoners prefer having sex with breathers. "I only bang breathers," one prisoner at the local prison said. "Those dead people are boring because they just lay there, and their holes are limp. There's no grip."